Isnin, 5 Januari 2009
JANGAN MENGELUH

Sabtu, 3 Januari 2009
Stupid question with smart answer

BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.
GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...
GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple
GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??
BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??
BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??
SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.
MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.
WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes
out of the mouth.
MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think,
Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
1) Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".
2) Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun
gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".
3) Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when
people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".
4) Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"
5) My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called
current affairs.
6) Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".
7) Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's
performance repeated".
Cool Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and
stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".
9) Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".
10) Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of
ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've
treated. The others all died".
11) Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day
and at the same time."
12) Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's
Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."
PERANGKAP TIKUS
Sepasang suami dan isteri petani pulang kerumah setelah berbelanja. Ketika mereka membuka barang belanjaan, seekor tikus memperhatikan gelagat sambil menggumam "hmmm...makanan apa lagi yang dibawa mereka dari pasar??"
Ternyata yang dibeli oleh petani hari adalah rerangkap tikus.Sang tikus naik panic bukan kepalang.
Ia bergegas lari ke sarang dan bertempik, "
Ia pun mengadu kepada ayam dan berteriak, "
Sang Tikus lalu pergi menemui seekor Kambing sambil berteriak seperti tadi.
Sang Kambing pun jawab selamba, "Aku pun turut bersimpati...tapi tidak ada yang boleh aku buat. Lagi pun tak tak ada kena-mengena dengan aku. "
Tikus lalu menemui Sapi. Ia mendapat jawaban sama. " Maafkan aku. Tapi perangkap tikus tidak berbahaya buat aku sama sekali. Tak kanlah sebesar aku ni boleh masuk perangkap tikus. "
Dengan rasa kecewa ia pun berlari ke hutan menemui Ular. Sang ular berkata " Eleh engkau ni...Perangkap Tikus yang sekecil tak
Akhirnya Sang Tikus kembali kerumah dengan pasrah kerana mengetahui ia akan menghadapi bahaya seorang diri. Suatu malam, pemilik rumah terbangun mendengar suara berdetak perangkap tikusnya berbunyi menandakan umpan dah mengena. Ketika melihat perangkap tikusnya, ternyata seekor ular berbisa yang jadi mangsa. Buntut ular yang terperangkap membuat ular semakin ganas dan menyerang isteri pemilik rumah.
Walaupun si Suami sempat membunuh ular berbisa tersebut, isterinya tidak sempat diselamatkan.
Si suami pun membawa isterinya kerumah sakit. Beberapa hari kemudian isterinya sudah boleh pulang namun tetap sahaja demam.
Isterinya lalu minta dibuatkan sup cakar ayam oleh suaminya kerana percaya sup cakar ayam boleh mengurangkan demam. Tanpa berfikir panjang si Suami pun dengan segera menyembelih ayamnya untuk dapat cakar buat sup.
Beberapa hari kemudian sakitnya tidak kunjung reda. Seorang teman menyarankan untuk makan hati kambing. Ia lalu menyembelih kambingnya untuk mengambil hatinya.Masih juga isterinya tidak sembuh-sembuh dan akhirnya meninggal dunia. Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi rajiun.
Banyak sungguh orang datang melawat jenazahnya. Kerana rasa sayang suami pada isterinya, tak sampai hati pula dia melihat orang ramai tak dijamu apa-apa. Tanpa berfikir panjang dia pun menyembelih sapinya untuk memberi makan orang-orang yang berziarah.
Dari kejauhan...Sang Tikus menatap dengan penuh kesedihan. Beberapa hari kemudian ia melihat Perangkap Tikus tersebut sudah tidak digunakan lagi.
SUATU HARI...KETIKA ANDA MENDENGAR SESEORANG DALAM KESUSAHAN DAN MENGIRA ITU BUKAN URUSAN ANDA... FIKIRKANLAH SEKALI LAGI.!!











